Attachment and Adoption

 

We get many questions from our families about the process of forming attachment and a secure bond with their adopted child. Many times, children who have been adopted will have some issues with attachment. This can either manifest in being overly clingy to everyone they meet, or on the opposite end of the spectrum, they may become distant and withdrawn. Some children may become even test boundaries with behavior, to ensure that you will still be there even if they act defiantly.

These are all very normal and expected behaviors. Children who have been adopted have often experienced some sort of trauma. It is important to acknowledge this and be prepared to work with your child on securely attaching to your family.
There are many helpful ways a parent can enforce and build secure attachment with their child, no matter their age.
1. Be consistent! Consistency yields trust, and trust helps form attachment. When your child can expect what is going to happen next, they will begin to feel a sense of stability and safety in your home. Many of these children are used to a constantly changing environment. Do not be surprised if keeping a consistent schedule is difficult at first, but keep at it! It will be worth it in the long run.
2. Give choices! Allow your child the opportunity to find their voice. Many times an adopted child will come from an environment where they have not had much say in anything, even being adopted! Letting your child have the freedom to make choices about their every day life can help produce self-confidence and enhance self-esteem. Even little choices like what color of shirt to wear can go a long way!
3. Empathize! Sometimes we forget how complex a child’s emotions can be, especially a child who has been through some sort of trauma. Kids often times do not have the words to communicate how they are feeling, so they will use undesirable behaviors such as whining, crying, yelling, lying, and aggression to display these emotions. When these things come up, it is important to process how the child is feeling with them. Let them feel your calm and unwavering presence. When you can be sit with your child with their emotions, attachment builds and strengthens.
Above all, make sure you are taking care of yourself. Many times through the adoption process parents will put self-care as their lowest priority. Who has time with all the things happening? Though it is easy to do this, it can have devastating effects. Transitioning into life with your adopted child can be extremely difficult, demanding, and straining. Making sure you have time to recharge and recenter yourself will ensure you will be the best parent possible for your kiddos.
-Bethany McWilliams, Marriage and Family Therapy, MS
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Older Child Adoption

 

If you follow GWCA/CAN regularly you know that we are fierce advocates for older child adoption.

What we hear most from people are their concerns about attachment traumas and bonding issues with older children who are adopted.
Those concerns are valid, because a lot of attachment style is formed in the first few years of life, but that does not mean creating healthy attachments is impossible with older children, in fact, it can come quite naturally in a majority of families!
A person’s brain is not yet fully developed until age 25! That means there is plenty of time to form new neural pathways and make healthy attachment bonds with an older adopted child.
Throughout the upcoming months we will focusing on different ways families can bond and healthily attach with their adoptive child, especially older children.
For more information on adoption or the attachment process in adoption please contact info@childrenofallnations.com or give our counselors a call at 512-323-9595!
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Burundi Children Need You!

Did you know…

The civil war in Burundi has been going on for 15 Years?
Because of this extended period of violence, Burundi has become one of the poorest countries in the world.
Over 70% of the country lives in extreme poverty
Half of the population has no access to drinkable water
Many children, especially orphans, are subjected to physical and sexual abuse, often becoming victims to sex trafficking.

Children of All Nations is eager to be advocates for Burundi children. If you feel called to learn more about Burundi adoption please contact us. We would love to speak with you today!

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The Haiti Outlook

thehaitioutlook.blogspot.com

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HIV in Haiti

Haiti is home to over 32,000 orphans, many of whom have the diagnosis of HIV. What many people do not realize is HIV is a very manageable, treatable illness when the child is provided with the correct medicine. While these children often get looked over for adoption, they are also getting looked over for the chance of having a life that is long, healthy, and positive.

Haitian children with HIV are often ready to be adopted very quickly. Haiti has many 0-3 year old children available with this diagnosis and they all need loving, supportive, and nurturing homes. For more information on Haiti adoption please contact us.

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Older Child Adoption

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Intercountry Adoption Changes

Dear Families,

As you may already know, each adoption service provider (ASP) is licensed to process adoptions within their state, as well as accredited by the Department of State (DOS) via an approved accrediting entity. An accrediting entity effectively governs compliance with the Hague Convention rules and regulations, under the supervision of DOS. Since the inception of the Hague Convention, the accrediting entity governing compliance has been the Council on Accreditation (COA). Recently, due to conflicts with DOS centering on how ASPs should be overseen, COA has resigned from its role as an accrediting entity. In its stead, a new agency, Intercountry Adoption Accreditation and Maintenance Entity (IAAME), has been approved. The transition of duties is still taking place, but in the meantime new requirements have been announced and we would like to make everyone aware.

Last week, IAAME released its fee schedules for accreditation, monitoring, and oversight, which are applicable to every ASP currently operating. Included in this fee schedule is a “Monitoring & Oversight” fee of $500 per adoptive child that will be assessed on any new adoptive families contracted on or after February 15, 2018. GWCA/CAN (and all other APSs) will be required to report new adoptive families each month, and then pay this fee per family the following month. As this is a fee charged by IAAME (and approved by DOS), this is what we would call a “pass-through fee,” wherein GWCA/CAN is merely a third-party processor. We want to stress this fee is NOT charged by GWCA/CAN, nor does GWCA/CAN have any say in this fee moving forward other than the requirements of reporting and billing. This fee is non-refundable per IAAME.

Beginning February 15, any contracts signed will be assessed this fee. In addition to other fees due with the signing of your contract, you will need to remit payment for one child (or the first child, if intending to adopt multiple children). If you are a family intending to adopt two or more children, please note that you will not be required to pay the additional fees for each child until you accept the referral which will be unique to each family’s case.

We understand that additional fees in an adoption, especially those not expected, can be frustrating. For this reason, we would like to once again stress that this is not the choice GWCA/CAN (or any ASP). GWCA/CAN is following the directions of IAAME, who is operating at the direction of DOS. If you do have any questions, please feel free to contact your application case manager.

Sincerely,

Great Wall China Adoption/Children of All Nations

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Helping Haiti

In December 2017, a group of staff members, adoptive families, and other passionate volunteers traveled together to Haiti to support the orphans there. For our Orphan Care Team, it was a life-changing experience. One of the volunteers shares her experience below:

“When I first heard of this opportunity, I was just so excited to return to Haiti, as I fell in love with the country and the people my first time around. However, I had no idea how rewarding and encouraging this trip would be in relationship to my adoption process.

I was fortunate enough to get to bring my husband this time, and to show him this place in which I’d loved. Meeting our agency rep was especially helpful because we were able to ask several questions during the trip. We were so happy to learn that she was compassionate and fully invested in what was best for our family and our future children. Of course we’d assumed this before based on previous interactions via email, but this was much better.

Perhaps one of the most helpful parts about this trip was getting to talk with other potential adoptive parents. The adoption process in Haiti is so difficult to explain to others who aren’t involved. It was nice to be around people who understood! We’ve made lifelong friendships on this trip!

What I wasn’t anticipating about this trip, was its ability to eradicate some of my worries about adopting from Haiti. I had previously met some children who are not in a currently accredited creche and I was very worried about whether or not I’d be able to welcome into my family, children I hadn’t previously met. That worry was quickly removed upon visiting this new orphanage I hadn’t seen before and seeing all of the beautiful children that I could easily see joining my family someday. My other prior concern was that I would be taking these children from the place they were meant to be and that that would be selfish of me. Haiti is a beautiful country with beautiful people and exquisite culture. I didn’t want to remove that. But after talking to several older children at the orphanage I realized that they truly did want families. They did want to come to America. And I realized that we can continue to take trips to Haiti as a family in order to keep their heritage alive.

It was an incredible experience and I would go back in a heartbeat!! Thank you for the opportunity!”

Resources

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5 Steps to Start Your Adoption Journey

1. Connect with Our Matching Specialists

GWCA and CAN’s matching specialists are here to help you find an adoption program that’s right for your family. Contact us today to take advantage of our free adoption consultation offer and speak directly to one of our adoption specialists! You can reach us at 512-323-9595 or info@childrenofallnations.com.

2. Review Your Eligibility

Each country that GWCA and CAN works with has its own set of eligibility requirements. These requirements are set by the countries themselves, and not by GWCA or CAN. If you have any questions regarding your eligibility for a specific country, please contact us today!

Here are links to some of the eligibility requirements for GWCA and CAN’s programs:

3. Consider Your Adoption Parameters

One of the most important steps to beginning your adoption journey is figuring out what you are open to in terms of your adopted child’s age range, gender, and possible special needs. Often, the more open a family is in their adoption parameters, the quicker they’ll receive a match!

4. Learn more about GWCA and CAN’s Waiting Children

If your family is open to adopting an older child, a child with special needs, or a sibling group of two or more, our Waiting Child adoption programs might be right for you. Many of our Waiting Child adoption programs provide families the chance to play a role in the matching process (in reviewing a child’s file), and often you can be matched right away!

Visit GWCA and CAN’s Waiting Child photo listings!

5. Apply Today!

Once you’ve found the program that’s right for you, the next step is to go submit your application!

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Cake Packages

By sending a cake package to an orphanage, you brighten up the children’s day! Imagine their excitement and happiness when they discover that a special cake was gifted to them to celebrate a birthday or another occasion. Anyone can order a cake package and spread joy to these kids! Our staff in the country will arrange for a cake to be made and delivered to the orphanage. Afterwards, you’ll receive photos of the children enjoying the cake. Read below for more details!

Haiti

You can order a Haiti Cake Package for $99. For more information on how you can order one, please contact our Haiti Adoption Counselor Hilary at 512-323-9595 ext. 3062 or hilary@childrenofallnations.com today!

China

Send a sweet treat to the orphans in China by ordering a Connecting Hearts Cake Package! For pricing and other information, please contact our China Adoption Counselor Mallory at 512-323-9595 ext. 3033 or mallory@gwca.org today!

Please note: When making a payment, please select “Adoption fees and services,” select “AMENITIES,” and then choose either “Haiti Cake Package” or “China Cake Package”

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